From partying hard in my 20’s to soul searching, love searching and family making in my 30’s. Oh how my life has changed!
Things you hear very often when you’re single in your 20’s and 30’s….
“You not settled down yet?, Isn’t it about time you found a nice man and settled down?, You with anyone these days? and my personal favourite… You’d make a great mum.”
First, let me make this clear… I LOVED my single years! There was very rarely times where I’d feel a part of my life was missing etc. I had been in a serious relationship from 16 to 23 years of age (serious enough to move in together and get engaged), so I had experienced love and knew that I couldn’t just settle for someone as I had, had that ‘spark’ and was just waiting for that to happen again. I wasn’t really searching for it, but I always felt that when the right guy came along… I’d know and go with it.
Grabbing Opportunities With Both Hands
Now, it’s safe to say that I was left utterly heartbroken when my childhood relationship finished. It took me a long time to get used to my new way of life but having a change in career literally 3 weeks after the break up helped! Moving in with my new friend Jude a couple of months after that was a game changer too.
I decided that it was time for me to make a ‘bucket list’ of things I could or wanted to do whilst I was still young and single enough to do them.
First on my list was a girly holiday. Wow! What fun we had!! I then continued to live my life to the fullest, going to festivals, travelling to different places across the world, working towards my degree in Business Management and going out as many times as I could with my friends.
Like I said before, I had a great time with colleagues, family and friends! Truly.
Right, I’m ready to settle down..
I’ll keep this brief. Whilst I was out with family for the annual Christmas Eve drinks around our local town, I had the first incline that I would like to be with someone by the following Christmas. Wow!! It had been 8 years since I had been dating etc so I was completely lost as to what to do… Useless if I’m honest.
I won’t bore you with the bits in between but I will say that dating is crazy!!
Fast forward another few years and I finally felt that ‘spark’ again. With Phill. He was tall, handsome, kind and most of all funny and I’m so glad I didn’t just make do with someone (which I’ll be honest, was seriously becoming an option as the social pressure to settle down was weighing heavy on my mind, people were telling me to stop being so fussy and lower my standards and as a result I developed chronic anxiety that made me believe I was destined to be single forever).
Becoming a mum
I’m the middle child of four and my parents are still together. Although I didn’t want to have that many children, I always knew I wanted children or at least a child. So I was so happy when I saw those 2 beautiful blue lines on that little Blue stick after we’d been trying for months and knew the life I was living was about to change forever… I couldn’t wait!
I’ll save the trauma of Ffion’s birth for another post as it’s quite a story! But 2 days before my due date Ffion Mair made her debut into this world and my new chapter had begun. I was now officially a mum.
Sleep? What’s that?
I think the beauty of pregnancy is that you experience broken sleep from the get go, which just gets progressively worse as the trimesters go by. So by the time you’re little one arrives, your prepared (ish).
During maternity leave, you have a chance to sleep during the day if you need it, so I didn’t suffer too much if I’m honest. But once I was back in work full time it was a whole other story!! I don’t think a day has gone by since I retuned to work 11 months ago where I haven’t said “I’m so tired”. But I am told by many experts (i.e. My mum friends and family) that I will not stop saying this daily for another 10 years! *eye roll* Yay
So, what’s the biggest change?
There is a list as long as my arm! But I think the biggest realisation is that I am now responsible for another human being. 24 hours a day! I love being a mum, 99% of the time I am ‘All In’, ‘Invested’ and ‘Completely Comitted’ to Ffion and being the best mum I can possibly be. But there are them few days where I’ve not had enough sleep, I haven’t had enough time to do my house jobs, I’ve not been looking after my self care and Ffion is extra clingy. Those are the days where I look back on my selfish 20’s, being hungover on a Sunday and being able to slip into bed for a cheeky afternoon snooze. Then I remind myself that, that is the reason I did so much fun stuff then… Because I knew these days were coming and I thank my lucky stars for the life I now live.
Would I change anything?
Not a bloody thing!! I’ve been blessed and still can’t believe how lucky I’ve been xx