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The Challenges and Benefits of Being a Mother of Two under Two

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Guest Blog by ‘C’ (author would like to remain anonymous) 

How Our Journey Began

Firstly, I’d like to clarify that my two under two were both definitely planned.  I will probably at times on this article come across as whiny but at the root of my entire narrative is the fact that both of my babies were planned and desperately wanted. 

Myself and my husband have been together for just over 10 years and he mentioned early on in our relationship that he was keen for kids.  Me too….but not straight away. 

I wanted to have my fun, travel, enjoy lazy day hangovers and live a responsibility free life before jumping into motherhood. I did always say that when we did decide to make the jump, I would like the children to be close in age.  

At the time I was unsure if that would be 2 years, 3 years or more. I’ll get back to you when we have an answer on that.

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Parenthood with Two under Two

Pregnancy 1.0

April 2019 is when my world changed forever, for the better. I became a mum to the most amazing little girl that I could have wished for, after a dream pregnancy. 

She was equal parts challenging and fascinating to begin with. She was a grazer on the boob, a notoriously difficult burper and a puker.  Put these 3 elements together and you basically have weeks of long nights and lots of washing.  However, we found our feet relatively quickly as first time parents and I completely put that down to us working as a team. 

I still look back with pride at how we handled that really life changing time in our lives.  At around 6-8 weeks postpartum (around the time my daughter started smiling),  we began the conversation of trying for another baby.  He was cautious but I sold it to him over the next few months. 

I loved being a mum and he loved being a dad and I basically said that while we were in the depths of nappies, sleepless nights etc that we should just keep going. 

The best thing we could ever give her was a sibling. He agreed. I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months and 2 weeks later I was pregnant with baby number 2. 

pregnancy, child, speaker

Pregnancy 2.0

To begin with my pregnancy was all plain sailing, but at around the 4 month mark my hips and back began hurting and I was significantly bigger than I had been during my first pregnancy.

Que the super helpful comments from people such as, ‘This is the least of your worries, wait till the two of them are running around’ and ‘Ohhhhhh you’re going to have your hands full’. 

I’m never quite sure if people are trying to be helpful or funny but comments like these did not go down well with me.  I was perfectly aware that I would have my hands full, as well as being perfectly aware how privileged I was to be able to get pregnant so easily with these babies.

10 long days after my due date our little boy greeted us with his presence.  After 3 arduous days in hospital he ended up coming really quickly and my husband made it with just 30 mins to spare, phew! 

The following day we headed home to begin our life as a family of 4.  At this stage our little girl was 15 months old and had been walking unaided for just 12 days. To put it mildly we were balls deep in parenthood. 

However, she took to sisterhood like a little legend.  This was another moment that I felt such pride in the work that we had put in with her. She made a stressful situation much more bearable when she was happy to play independently while occasionally checking in on ‘the baby’.

siblings, friends, brother, two under two

8 Months On. How our Lives Are Now We Have Two Under Two

To avoid going into 8 months of our life I’ll summarise where we are now as if I get into the nitty gritty this could turn into a novel! 

My little duo are the best of friends. My heart absolutely bursts when I see them interact. But let me tell you it’s the hardest thing I have ever done. It’s constant. All of it. The naps, the snacks, the nappies, the planning, the changing, the worry, the joy, the wonder. It’s all constant. 

In the last 8 months it has been equally hard and amazing, draining and emotional, happy and sad. I will always wonder if I would have enjoyed it more had I been able to share them with other people outside of the covid-19 lockdown or will I have an extra special bond with them because I have not been away from them for a minute in 8 months (and counting)? 

I’ll never know I suppose but it’s a question I never thought I’d be asking.

family, kids, baby, two under two

5 Words of Wisdom for any Parents debating having two under two

If anyone out there is thinking about going down the 2 under 2 route my few words of wisdom would be:

  1. Go into it with your eyes wide open. It’s hard work. There’s no way around the hard work, just through it!
  2. Everything is all very fresh in your mind which I found gave me an extra level of confidence. 
  3. It gets easier with time, and I’m saying this after only 8 months. You will find your groove with 2.
  4. Gently does it. My first few visits to the shop with both of them, I needed nothing. I just did a trial run so I could abort the mission should I need to. I was just happy with getting both into and out of the car and shop successfully.
  5. Your relationship will be tested. You will both be so tired for prolonged periods of time that bickering is inevitable. But remember why you chose to do this. 

The best piece of advice that I ever received was that ‘It’s all a phase’. If it’s bad, it’s just a phase, it will pass. If it’s good, it’s just a phase so enjoy it. 

Children are life’s biggest blessing and it’s my greatest honour to be a mum of two under two!

Finally.. I’d Love to Hear Your Stories

One girl, one boy and one happy mama enjoying extended maternity leave and eager to hear everyone’s thoughts on my very first blog post! Please let me know how you’re coping with life as a mum of two under two, if you’re thinking of getting pregnant soon after having your first by commenting below or messaging Lynne, The swan Effect Mum directly HERE.

Podcast Episode with a Stay at Home Mum with Two Under Two

Over at The Swan Effect Mums Coffee and Chat podcast, Lynne speaks to another mum who had two under two and talks about her experiences. To listen to this episode please visit the PodPage HERE

Join The Swan Effect Mums Facebook Community Group HERE

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13 thoughts on “The Challenges and Benefits of Being a Mother of Two under Two”

  1. Beautiful post.. I totally agree with: Gently does it. My first few visits to the shop with both of them, I needed nothing. I just did a trial run so I could abort the mission should I need to..

    I did the same thing and many missions had to be aborted 🙂 I eased back into so many things slowly and that helped…

  2. I loved your article. I have a 3 year old son, and we are just now trying for our second. I was the opposite, I wanted more time between them, but I can definitely see the advantages of close together. I enjoyed hearing another point of view. Have fun mama.

    1. It’s a tricky one as I know having close in age means you get the early stages out of the way sooner, but having a larger age gap means the eldest child is able to help (pass nappies, sits quietly whilst you bath baby etc). Pros and Cons to both and it’s always best to do what feels right for you and your family I think xx

  3. My sister has two kids with two years difference and I see how lovely it is that they are practically growing up together! At the beginning it was quite hard to manage two little ones, but now they have an amazing bond.

    1. My sister in-law has 15 months between her two and her midwife told her on the first home visit “This will be the biggest age gap that they’ll ever have” and she was right as now they are 2 and 3 and play so nicely together. It’s like they are twins really.

  4. Thank you for sharing! My girls are almost exactly 2 years apart (their birthdays are 4 days apart) and although I technically had 2 under 2 for only a few days, it was definitely difficult, and still is, but also wonderful. The hardest part for me was in the early days when I was nursing and my oldest was still in the stage of getting into everything, pulling things down, etc. However, now they are 2.5 and 4.5 and for the most part, they play well together, they love each other so much and make each other laugh, which makes all those hard times so worth it!

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