Well, there we have it. Christmas 2020 in lockdown and now in the midst of Crimbo Limbo. Who knew that at the beginning of all this mess in March, that would still be here hey? Many of us thought we’d have that 6 week lockdown and then all would be rosy again. Oh how wrong were we hey?!
Christmas Lockdown.. It was inevitable!
As the months creeped along, it was becoming increasingly clear that a solo Christmas was on the cards. We had a great August, which saw many of us meeting family and friends for the ‘Eat Out to Help Out’ scheme and it was lovely to have relaxation on the rules in September too, which meant I could see my girlfriends, just one week before having my daughter Veronica for a much needed meal and catch up. Albeit, we were in masks, had to endure alcohol soaked hands and only had a two hour table reservation… But still, it was nice to feel some sense of normality just before giving birth (even if I was the only sober one there… Wow! Those girls like their Prosecco!!).
With all that mixing with friends, strangers etc, it was inevitable that we would have to face the consequences of our actions and now, here we are all struggling with the fact that Christmas 2020 was a sheltered affair. Me more than most!
I really struggled with the 6 hour warning from Mark Drakeford on Saturday 19th December, stating that Wales would go on a Tier 4 system meaning no mixing whatsoever! At the moment we are allowed to meet one person outside, we were told we could have one other household for Christmas dinner but that was all. I had planned a Christmas Eve family party, as I had last year. It seemed more important this year due to this being the first Christmas without dad and also the horrible year we, as a family (and nation) have had due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I’m not ashamed to admit that I shed many tears as I felt that once again this pandemic had robbed me the chance of normality! I have felt that way many times this year unfortunately, as I’m sure many of you have. If feels awful being so selfish when so many are suffering more than me, but shamefully the upset still cut deep in that moment.
First Christmas after losing my Dad..
0n Christmas Eve after speaking to Phill about how low and sad I was feeling, I decided to put my big girl knickers on and make the best of a pretty crap situation! I finally plucked up the courage to go and visit my dad’s grave. I hadn’t been since his funeral. I wrote in my previous blog how Phill had suggested I think of him as on a really long holiday. Which I did in the beginning as I was going through a very worrying pregnancy and needed to put all my attention on me and her. That method worked for a few months but I knew the grief was pushing its way back once I had, had Veronica and was settled into a nice and steady family life routine.
It was heart breaking visiting my dad and I cried non stop, kneeling down in front of his grave but I told him how much I missed him, how tragic things had been for everyone and that I had named my daughter after him. I felt more at peace with myself walking away from the cemetery and knew visiting my dad had been the best thing for me. Which is ironic really, as that was always the best medicine for me when he was alive too! I will make this visit to see my lovely dad a new Christmas Eve morning tradition. Tell him all about my year with Phill, the girls and work… Everything he always asked me when I went to visit him and mum at their house.
Starting new traditions on Christmas Eve…
That afternoon we had lots of family and friends knock on our door and deliver presents, which was a pleasant surprise! Phill decided to make a start on the fencing in our front garden and Ffion and I had a fun filled Christmas activity afternoon with colouring in, music and Christmas cookie making! It was a lovely day with my eldest, who although didn’t really understand the meaning of Christmas knew something was very different and was excited nonetheless.
Christmas day was a quiet affair also, just us and our girls. But that’s how we like it, every year as normally our Chrstmas break is so hectic with visiting, parties etc that we like to have a quiet day on Christmas Day. I wore a dress, put on some makeup and even straightened my hair (as a new mum, this is a very rare sight!) Whereas Phill stayed in his loungewear all day and Ffion wore her new Elsa, Frozen 2 dress that Father Christmas had brought her. Anything went that day and it was bliss. No rushing around, the house was upside down but we knew no one was coming over so we weren’t in a rush to tidy… Bliss!! Ffion got so much Frozen merchandise it was ridiculous!! It’s funny, out of everything she got (which included the new Elsa dress (my best purchase this year by far!, a duvet cover, backpack, blanket, musical set, lego set, pencil case, pj’s, books… I could go on!!) she didn’t get two of the same thing at all!! That in itself is amazing don’t you think?
Crimbo Limbo… What day is it?
We are now in the days between Christmas and New Year, better known as Crimbo Limbo where none of us know what day it is, we are having Cheese, biscuits and left over party food for our dinner as we can’t be bothered to cook and we’re not getting dressed until at least mid day.
Christmas Eve is my favourite day over the festive break but I also love these 4 or 5 days in between, where it’s just us in our bubble and relaxing. It’s the only time of the year it happens and I embrace every minute of it.
During the holidays I’ve been busy working on my new website (which you should be reading from now if I’ve done it all correctly?!), I’ve uploaded my first ever podcast (Eeeeek!!) and uploaded a new Vlog on my YouTube channel, about my Boxing Day bargains (I’ve already bought around 60% of my Christmas presents for 2021, £360 of gifts for £175!. I just had to share guys).
Working on my Mental Health…
I’m not really sure why I’m working so hard on all this blogging, vlogging or podcasting really. It started out as a hobby at the beginning of the year, somewhere to log my motherhood journals I suppose and show Ffion when she was older (and now Ronnie too of course) but my mental health hasn’t been great lately (which is completely understandable after the year I’ve experienced, so not being too hard on myself) and I really feel that keeping myself busy by learning all these new skills has helped to keep my brain free from negative or worrying thoughts most days.
So, if you would like to visit, like, share or subscribe to any of my social platforms that would be fantastic!! All the social media links are at the bottom of my website and you can find my podcast and YouTube page in the menu on the Home screen.
2021, The year we have been looking forward to for so long!
I hope you all have had the best Christmas possible this year and enjoying the crimbo limbo break before the craziness of 2021 approaches us with high speed! As I write this the news have announced that the Oxford/AstraZeneca vaccine has been approved for use in the UK, with the Government ordering 100 million!! There is light at the end of the very long, dark and lonely tunnel guys… The new way of life is upon us!!
Merry Christmas everyone!!
Lots of Love, Lynne x
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